One Year Ago...

It's so hard to believe that one year ago today, April 17, I had a baby... it still trips me out when I think about it or look at his smiling face LOL

I look at him and I think about what I went through with HG. I was so miserable for so long with so many complications that it just makes me appreciate him more, so much more in fact that I am no longer going to spend time blogging here.

I want to cherish every moment I can and I want to spend as much time with him watching him grow and laugh and play and well, you know... he's growing up so fast.

If I find any new research or news I will certainly post it here, but I think I just want to be a Mommy.

I hope that the information I have posted in my other posts will help you or someone you know. I hope you will find hope in this blog. That it will help you keep the faith, know that HG is a very serious disease but that with proper treatment you can endure.

Always,
Raynie & Zane

Trying to understand God's purpose...

Hi all...
I haven't blogged or done any podcasts in a while, and well honestly... it is because

I AM IN A FUNK.

You may have had a similar experience, or are yourself in a funk as we speak.
Let me tell you why.

In the not so far off past I worked my way to a certain position in a certain industry and admittingly it was hard work, but in a fun industry. I was a pit boss at a Casino. I had worked my way up with Harrah's, furthered my education on my own dime, and had been working for the Grand Sierra Resort & Casino (formerly the Reno Hilton) before I was diagnosed with HG.
It was a good career and when I learned I was pregnant I was relieved that I had this great career that I could provide a good life for my child. It is the same for every single Mom out there... you want to provide a good life for your child, and have a great career... the best of both worlds.

When I was diagnosed with HG, my world was turned upside down! The disease forced my resignation from a job I loved. I had no medical insurance, no income, and a baby on the way. I also had bills to pay... 3 credit cards and a gas card which I only accepted because I wanted their free gas! (LOL) My credit was decent.

Fast forward to mid pregnancy, hospitalized for the 3rd time, my dear friend, Scott, back in Reno tells me the bills are stacking up (which when you are fighting for your unborn child's life and your own... is the least of your worries!) He told me when I feel up to it to try to write a letter explaining the situation and maybe they can work with me, he'd make copies and send them all out and see what happens.

I did and in hind sight I am thinking maybe I should have paid the extra whatever for the insurance all credit cards offer... the (to quote Chris Rock) "In case shit" insurance (LOL). I have never been hospitalized in my life, never had anything worse than the common cold or flu... so why on earth would I subscribe to an insurance that I will never use, that is just a scam to get more money out of most people?

BECAUSE!!! In case shit happens like me getting some RARE pregnancy disease!!! Whoda thunk???

Whatever! I was so over it as they charged me off as a "Bad Debt"... Yes, I am now in financial ruin. BUT! The story doesn't end there.

I knew when I got better and was able to at some point return to work, I would like a phoenix rise from the ashes and rebuild my life. I could go back to my career and clean up my finances and everything would be wonderful!

WRONG

Fast forward to the past few weeks...
I applied for and was offered a great position with one of the biggest casinos in So Cal! I was sooo happy! However, a few days later... bad news... they cannot approve my gaming license (nor will any casino in So Cal)!!! Why???? Charge offs and unpaid Medical bills. They said if I paid it off I was welcome to re-apply... ok, great... how do I do that without a job? and... the position I applied for is now going to "the second best candidate" because obviously I was the best candidate or they would not have made the offer!!!

So with that feeling of elation, my bubble was burst and I am now in a FUNK...trying to figure out God's purpose! As you can see it is disturbing my sleep, keeping me up at night... my son is finally sleeping through the night, and I am up at 3:28 am worrying about...
what the @%&! (expletive) I am going to do now!

I am angry. I was robbed. I was robbed of my health, robbed of the enjoyment of pregnancy, robbed of a family, robbed of future children, and now my career.

Ahhhh...the eternal optimist in me speaks...
There must be a REASON. I dont know what it is yet, but there must be.
I know with every fiber of my being that my child is the greatest gift in my life. He is the reason I smile every day. He was meant to be and my intuition tells me that the universe conspired to make sure he came to be...and here he is.

Maybe I was on the wrong path and this is how my path is changed, so I find the right one.
I remember a quote : "God's delays are not God's denials"
I tend to be quite impatient so... perhaps it is time to learn PATIENCE... it is a virtue after all (LOL)

My son is growing up so fast and he gets frustrated sometimes when he is doing stuff...and I always tell him "patience my son, patience is a virtue", I guess it is true... when you teach you also learn!

If you are going through something similar... here is what gets me through...
think back to your darkest hour... Mine was sitting in the emergency room all alone (they wouldnt let my Mom back with me at the time) and after suffering from HG for months... having the doctor tell me at that moment my life could be in danger from a pulmonary embolism, that I could die, and I needed to choose right then and there... my life or my child's? No parent should ever have to face that. I took a chance, must have been the "gambler" in me... but sometimes faith is strong medicine. That was my darkest hour, and here WE are... my son and I.

I guess what I am trying to say is... "Keep the faith" (haha...a Padres plug!) Something i am trying hard to do right now.

Thanks for letting me vent, I'll get over this funk and back to my task soon!

Spreading the word and maybe some HOPE...

http://www.newsreview.com/reno/Content?oid=612690

I was contacted by the Arts Editor from the Reno News and Review about my book, Letters to Zane. He was interested in my story and I am happy to say...

This week's issue: January 10, 2008 is going to help me in my efforts of spreading awareness for this terrible pregnancy disease!

I hope one day there will be better treatment to ease the suffering of so many women, and maybe even give us some concrete answers to so many questions we have especially... Why did this happen to me?

I would like to thank:
Peter Thompson, Arts Editor, Reno News and Review
Cherie Louise Turner, Writer
Todd Upton, Photographer
and
The Reno News and Review

Thank you for making this story available to your readers and helping me spread the word on HG!

The "Hyperemesis Diet"

If you can keep any of it down... Here is the suggested diet that was given to me by the hospital nutritionist while I was suffering from HG

Hyperemesis Diet

Nause and/or vomiting are common during the first 3 months of pregnancy. This is also known as "morning sickness" even though it can occure any time of the day. If vomiting becomes persisitent and severe, IV fluids & electrolyte replacement is necessary to prevent complications from dehydration.

Tips for relief:

• Eat small meals or snacks every 2-3 hours
• Avoid hunger, eat before getting out of bed in the morning
• Dont skip meals
• Select low fat protein foods: Lean meats, broiled or canned fish, poultry without skin, eggs, boiled beans
• Select easily digested carbohydrates: Fruit, fruit juices, pasta, rice, potatoes, toast, crackers, dry cereals
• Drink fluids between meals rather than with meals
• Avoid fried foods or any other foods that cause stomach discomfort such as gassy or spicy foods
• Cold foods can sometimes decrease the aroma or smells that can trigger nausea
• Drink a small amount of 100% fruit juice (apple, grape, cranberry) every 1-2 hours
• Avoid drinking beverages that contain caffeine or alcohol
• Have a snack before going to bed
• Try certain salty, high fat foods such as: potatoe chips and cheese curls
• Also try cold, tart drinks such as : Lemonade

In some cases IV nutrition may be necessary to meet the nutrition needs of the mother and fetus.

I am posting this because maybe it will be helpful to some of you suffering from HG.

When I was really sick... nothing would help me and I eventually did require IV nutrition, but when I was beginning to hold some food down I literally lived on ice cream and baked potatoes for months!!

The cold of the ice cream seemed to calm my tummy and the potaoes were all I could (sometimes) keep down. Although I wouldnt recommend Ice Cream or Milkshakes when you are at your worst because nothing is worse that throwing up curdled milkshake, milk or ice cream... and good luck getting that smell out of your nose!!! which just adds to your nausea!

I also for a while ate salty ruffles potatoe chip which were more "comforting" than anything... just knowing I could keep a little handful down some days made me feel better.

Hang in there ladies... you will eventually feel good enough to eat and enjoy your pregnancies!

I remember the first time I went to a resturant I had been keeping food down for about a week, and my car sickness was subsiding, so I gave it a shot! (But...I took my bucket with me just in case) I had breakfast, an omlet and potatoes... and I can tell you it was the MOST WONDERFUL breakfast ever! LOL

I enjoyed every bite without "incident" LOL

"Hyperemesis of Pregnancy"

I was going through some of my old hospital papers and found one of my "discharge instructions" papers that they give you when you are released, mine described the following for Hyperemesis Gravidarum (from Tri City Medical Center in Oceanside, CA.):

HYPER-EMESIS OF PREGNANCY
Hyperemesis of pregnancy is a severe form of "morning sickness", where the vomiting is excessive and may cause dehydration and chemical imbalances in the body. it occures in about 1% of pregnancies and is usually worse during the 10th thru 12th week of pregnancy. It usually gets better by the 16th week. It's cause is not well understood. It can be a serious threat to the mother and the fetus if dehydration becomes severe. Therefore, follow the advice below carefully.

HOME CARE:
1) Activity

• After awaking from sleep, remain in bed for 15 minutes before getting up.

2) Diet

• Eat frequent small meals rather than 3 large meals
• A diet high in Carbohydrates and Fiber is best avoid greasy and spicy foods
• Drink fluids between meals rather than with them
• Keep a log of the foods you eat and how they affect your symptoms, avoid foods that trigger your symptoms
• Keep saltine crackers at bedside. If you are nauseated upon waking eat some crakers or dry toast before getting out of bed
• If nausea and vomiting continue, rest your stomach by waiting 1-2 hours before trying to drink again.
• Stay in bed or severely limit your activities if nausea continues

3) Medicine

• In general it is best to avoid strong medicines during pregnancy, especially during the first three months. The effect on the growing baby is not always known and these could cause harm. Your doctor will recommend prescription medicine only when the symptoms you are having (vomiting and dehydration) are more dangerous to the baby than the small risk of using the medicine.
• Taking Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine), 10-25mg daily is safe and may be helpful to reduce nausea
• Check with the doctor before taking any over the counter medicines during your pregnancy

FOLLOW UP:

With your doctor within the next few days or as instructed by this facility

RETURN PROMPTLY:

Or contact your doctor if any of the following occur:

• Unable to keep any clear liquids down over a 6 hour period
• Worsening sickness, dizziness, or fainting occurs
• No weight gain over a 2 week period
• Severe, constant lower right abdominal pain
• Fever, chills or frequent diarrhea

These were my discharge instructions from my October 2006 hospital stay, I was released 2 days before Halloween.... and that might all have been helpful if I could have kept anything down ;P

Poster

I was looking at the funny posters on Despair.com and they have a tool that you can make your own "motivational" posters... so here is mine :)

Podcast: Episode 4 Book Reading

Episode 4 Book Reading

Today's reading from my book, Letters to Zane, included:
Page 34, A letter dated August 18, 2006
Page 35, A letter dated August 19, 2006 thru August 21, 2006

Also, the continuation of my adventures with HG : "How debilitating HG is and My Flight Home."

Also visit my activist page:
http://my.care2.com/lokelani33
Sign my petition to encourage government funding of much needed HG research!

I am looking for women to share their HG Stories!
If you have suffered from HG and want to tell your story please email me : letterstozane@yahoo.com

Have A Happy Turkey Day!
Sorry for the not so great quality of this week's recording...still figuring out this mic!

Podcast Resumes...

Hi all!
I havent done a new podcast lately because I have been glued to my TV, cell phone and messenger waiting anxiously for word from family and friends in So Cal.

Thankfully most were safe and out of harms way, but I have some friends who have lost everything...

My love and prayers go out to them and their families, as well as all those in So Cal effected by these fires.

I thank those on the front lines who do what they can, putting themselves in harms way... and the Governator for his quick response.

For the latest updates and ways you can help the fire victims check the fireblog:
http://sosdfireblog.blogspot.com/

The Letters to Zane podcast will resume this Sunday night.

Theories, Theories everywhere...

But no cure yet for us...

Here are some theories of where HG may come from:

What causes hyperemesis gravidarum remains unknown despite active research.
The more popular theories are categorized into 3 areas:

Hormonal
Elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) or a component of this hormone may play a role in inducing vomiting. This hormone has been shown to be in women with hyperemesis gravidarum.

Thyrotoxicosis or hyperthyroidism is also believed to be associated with hyperemesis gravidarum. A portion of the hCG hormone, called beta-hCG, is thought to stimulate an increase in serum thyroid hormones, which are associated with hyperemesis in pregnant women. It is not known whether this is a cause or effect of hyperemesis.

Another hormone thought to be the involved is serotonin. This is a brain chemical that affects both the central nervous system and the gastrointestinal (GI) tract. These effects are believed to induce vomiting. During pregnancy, the upper GI tract may slow down and thus contribute to increased nausea and vomiting. Several studies have shown that this slowdown in the GI tract is increased in pregnant women with severe vomiting.

Gastrointestinal
Helicobacter pylori bacteria that live in the intestinal tract may cause the development of peptic ulcer disease. These bacteria are found in a greater percentage among pregnant women and greater still in those with hyperemesis gravidarum. Antibiotics are used to treat all these conditions.

Psychosocial
Although the idea is controversial, some researchers think the condition may be a woman's psychological reaction against the pregnancy and might arise from conflict within the family and her home environment. In these cases, counseling has been used.

http://www.emedicine.com/aaem/topic260.htm

New... (updated 10/19)

Hi all...
I just published the next episode in my podcast. :)
Jenifer just let me know that she couldn't find it in the iTunes store.
It is there, but it is under Artist: Raynie

or you can use the link on the left...

or go to letterstozane.mypodcast.com

Thanks for tuning in :)

***Update: I fixed the problem in my podcast account :)
you can now find the podcast by searching for Raynie Andrewsen in your iTunes!

New Chapter...

I decided to add a chapter to my book, this chapter is going to have the clinical stuff! All the different ways I was treated for my HG. I am thinking it may help some women who may not have medical care familiar with treating this debilitating disease. I dont think it will delay the book at all. I am thinking it will be published this month and released by Christmas. At least that's the goal! Wish me luck!

My Proof is Here!

Today was pretty exciting for me! My Proof book came in the mail today. I had drove down to the mailbox and was dissapointed that the mail was not there. Of course when I got back to the house the mail man drove up...LOL

I used the binoculars to see if it was worth driving the 1/3 mile back down to the mailbox, sure enough there was a box! I started jumping up and down saying "My Book is Here" It was somewhat reminicent of that scene from The Jerk... You know the one...'The new phone book's here, The new phone book's here!' LOL

Anyhooo.
I went back down and there it was. My book. My heartfelt words to my son, my tears, fears, and my joys. In Print. I wanted to cry I was so happy. I feel so accomplished.

I just finished proof reading it. There are a few things that need to be fixed, minor type-o's, but other than that I am pretty happy with it. I'll be publishing it in the next week and then setting up distribution.

My friends and family are excited.... So am I !

Friends

"You were unrecognizable... I just cried because I wanted my friend back!"

That is what my Pamie Dear told me today. It was a very touching and emotional discussion. We were talking about my book and how close I am to having it released. She is excited to read it. She said that she could not believe how sick I was and actually neither could I. It still gets to me when I think about it, or read other women's stories.

It's hard to believe that women, in a time that should be their greatest joy, are stricken so hard. We are litterally beaten down by the disease. Women do die from this, and those who dont die certainly are knocking on the door.

Women terminate their pregnancies, or suffer for fear that they will never be able to go through it again and realize their dream of motherhood. This has changed my life. It has become kind of a mission to tell as many people as I can about Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I am seriously traumatized. I honestly feel I could never have another child because I am terrified I will be as sick or worse. I dont think I could go through that again. I dont think my body could take it, and my recovery thus far has been slow although I think somedays I have come very far.

Although I have read limited research stating that the chances are about 50% that women experience HG in subsequent pregnancies, from the women I have found, it seems that number is not correct. I would say the number is more like 90%. The women I have found seem to suffer in each pregnancy, and if they carry to term many have same or worse severeity.

I cant believe that there is so little research done on something that is considered one of the major reasons (besides pre-eclampsia) that women are hospitalized. I cant believe that there are some women who cant get proper medical care for HG and end up terminating their baby or worse...dying.

It just bothers me. Just venting.

Update

The book is in the final editing process! I am very excited. This whole experience has changed my life! Who would have ever thought that bringing my child into this world would be so hard. I still feel as though my body is damaged, perhaps it is slowly recovering.

I just want to thank the people who helped me through everyday. It is so important to have a support group during those times when you want to give up and it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

This is a life threatening disease, and the more research I do and the more stories I read from others, the more it really sinks in...

My life, AND my child's life was in danger. It is still unfathomable... sometimes I really can't believe it, how close I was. It certainly puts things in perspective!

US Pharmacist Info on HG

WOW! I found this in my travels online...

It is a page by the US Pharmacist online publication. The page is on Hyperemesis Gravidarum and it's really informative. In particular it had information on treatment and the different drugs used in HG!

You may be interested to see as well:
http://www.uspharmacist.com/oldformat.asp?url=newlook/files/feat/acf2f23.htm

April 7, 2007

Hi Honey!

Guess what? Tomorrow is supposed to be your birthday.

I have a lot of pressure down in my pelvis. The last couple of days I have had pain in my back off and on. Today I had some back pain and two cramps, but it went away. I don’t know if you will be born tomorrow or not, but you have been pretty active today. I feel occasional tightening in my belly…must be those Braxton Hicks contractions I read about…although I have no idea!

I am excited! I hope you will be born tomorrow, I cant wait to meet you. I want to see you and see what you look like. I want to hold you and tell you how much I love you. I want to hold you so bad, just want to snuggle and love you.

My sweet little love bug. I keep hoping my water will break or that labor would start. Everyone is so excited, they’ve been calling me a lot. I haven’t had any regular intervals of tightening or cramping.

I know I say it everyday but I am so excited…I cant wait!

I want to be your Mommy so bad. I hope tomorrow is the day!

We shall see…
Love You So Much!
Love Mommy

March 30, 2007

Hello My Sweet Love,

How are you today? I just got out of the shower, it always wipes me out. Something as simple as taking a shower can make me so exhausted. I believe it has to do with the HG that I had.

I was a little nauseated the past two days as well. It said on the HelpHer.org website that recovery is long for HG women, to expect at least two months for every month you were sick.

I was horribly sick for 5 months, now some days are really good… I feel good and have energy… but lately I have been very low energy, taking lots of naps, and when I shower I need to just lay down and rest a few moments before I get dressed and finish my “beauty routine”.

It’s hot today...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

March 3, 2007

Hi Sweetheart,

Today was your baby shower, and I must tell you I have the most wonderful friends. The baby shower was very nice.

We had Rubios Mexican Food Catering, and a yummy chocolate fountain with fresh fruit. We played some fun games and you got some very nice gifts.

I am so excited, you will be here very soon!

I Love You.
Love Mommy

February 22, 2007

Hello My Sweet Love!

Tonight a funny thing happened and although I had been told about it and read about it, I was still somehow unprepared and a little shocked! *Laugh*

My left nipple leaked! I guess it knows I’ll be feeding you very soon. Just a few drops but it was still sooo weird!

I also threw up this morning, and haven’t felt all that great all day. It just creeps up on me sometimes. I am really glad I didn’t have cereal this morning because milk is HORRIBLE coming up. (The second time around) I had an apple and an English muffin and I was really bummed because it was Yummy!

I may have just waited too long to eat… I didn’t eat until 12pm, but I didn’t even wake up until 10am. I am supposed to be getting more rest.

I wish I had the energy to go for a walk, I really want to go walk on the beach… but it has been raining. I love the rain, but...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

February 18, 2007

Hi Sweetie!

How do I love thee?

Only six more weeks until your birthday! I am so excited.

I started doing “kick counts” today to check how active you are. You were very active this afternoon and a little during my nap. It’s almost 7pm so you should be waking up soon. So I will...