December 27, 2006

Hi Sweet Baby…
Mommy is kind of sad today.

I keep thinking about your Daddy and what he is missing not being part of your life. It really is HIS loss… But, I can’t help but feel that it is also your loss.

I had a wonderful Daddy. I wanted that for you too. I feel like I have let you down in that department.

I am sorry.

I just want you to be sooo happy, and not have any bad feelings about him or his choices.

You are such a gift in my life. I feel very blessed. I can’t wait to be your Mommy…

I Love YOU Sooo Much!
Love Mommy

December 17, 2006

Hi Baby Zane…

Mommy doesn’t feel very good today.

I threw up last night and today. I am not sure why… maybe something I ate. I feel you moving inside my tummy right now. You are usually pretty active at this time (7:00pm).

I want to tell you that your father did apologize for the way he treated me… and I think in the back of my mind or the bottom of my heart I had hoped that he would say…

December 15, 2006

Good Morning, Sweet Baby Zane

I did something today that I didn’t think I would do.

I forgave your father. I did this not for him, but for me. When you forgive someone who has done you wrong you do two things…

you release the negative that holds you back and you empower yourself.

I walked on the beach after and I felt really good. I felt happier and less unsure about what may happen in the future. PLUS! I get Karma brownie points *laugh*.

I love the beach, the beach is...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

December 13, 2006

My Sweet Baby Zane,
Mommy’s tummy hurts today!

Not from being sick but from all the shots! I am sooo glad it is almost over… after Christmas I won’t have to do it anymore and I can finally let my poor tummy heal. I have sooo many bruises from the shots that I am running out of spots to give my shots in.

This Sunday I will be 6 months/24 weeks pregnant. Time is really flying now...

December 1, 2006

Good Morning My Love
The more I feel you moving around inside me the more excited I get. I can’t wait to hold you!

I just gave myself my daily shot in the tummy and it hurts! I got a baby book for you the other day…

November 29, 2006

Hi Zane!
I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am.

You are truly a gift from heaven. I am beginning to feel much better. My nausea and vomiting is finally going away. In fact I haven’t puked in days!

I ate in a restaurant 3 times with no problems, I am starting to spend time with friends, and I am venturing out for a few hours here and there for shopping or whatever.

I am only able to handle about 2 hours of walking around before I start getting exhausted and feeling bad… but I am working on that.

It is very hard for me to not have energy for the smallest things. I used to hike daily with Kimo up to six miles at a time, so to be wiped out after very little is...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

November 28, 2006

WOOOHOOO!!!
Today was my “official” ultrasound and guess what?

Everything I knew in my heart and soul was confirmed. You are a BOY!!

My sweet baby Zane.

My SON!

Today was one of the happiest days of my life! I love you very, very much and I feel you in there moving around.

It’s so weird!

Love Mommy