December 27, 2006

Hi Sweet Baby…
Mommy is kind of sad today.

I keep thinking about your Daddy and what he is missing not being part of your life. It really is HIS loss… But, I can’t help but feel that it is also your loss.

I had a wonderful Daddy. I wanted that for you too. I feel like I have let you down in that department.

I am sorry.

I just want you to be sooo happy, and not have any bad feelings about him or his choices.

You are such a gift in my life. I feel very blessed. I can’t wait to be your Mommy…

I Love YOU Sooo Much!
Love Mommy

December 17, 2006

Hi Baby Zane…

Mommy doesn’t feel very good today.

I threw up last night and today. I am not sure why… maybe something I ate. I feel you moving inside my tummy right now. You are usually pretty active at this time (7:00pm).

I want to tell you that your father did apologize for the way he treated me… and I think in the back of my mind or the bottom of my heart I had hoped that he would say…

December 15, 2006

Good Morning, Sweet Baby Zane

I did something today that I didn’t think I would do.

I forgave your father. I did this not for him, but for me. When you forgive someone who has done you wrong you do two things…

you release the negative that holds you back and you empower yourself.

I walked on the beach after and I felt really good. I felt happier and less unsure about what may happen in the future. PLUS! I get Karma brownie points *laugh*.

I love the beach, the beach is...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

December 13, 2006

My Sweet Baby Zane,
Mommy’s tummy hurts today!

Not from being sick but from all the shots! I am sooo glad it is almost over… after Christmas I won’t have to do it anymore and I can finally let my poor tummy heal. I have sooo many bruises from the shots that I am running out of spots to give my shots in.

This Sunday I will be 6 months/24 weeks pregnant. Time is really flying now...

December 1, 2006

Good Morning My Love
The more I feel you moving around inside me the more excited I get. I can’t wait to hold you!

I just gave myself my daily shot in the tummy and it hurts! I got a baby book for you the other day…

November 29, 2006

Hi Zane!
I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am.

You are truly a gift from heaven. I am beginning to feel much better. My nausea and vomiting is finally going away. In fact I haven’t puked in days!

I ate in a restaurant 3 times with no problems, I am starting to spend time with friends, and I am venturing out for a few hours here and there for shopping or whatever.

I am only able to handle about 2 hours of walking around before I start getting exhausted and feeling bad… but I am working on that.

It is very hard for me to not have energy for the smallest things. I used to hike daily with Kimo up to six miles at a time, so to be wiped out after very little is...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

November 28, 2006

WOOOHOOO!!!
Today was my “official” ultrasound and guess what?

Everything I knew in my heart and soul was confirmed. You are a BOY!!

My sweet baby Zane.

My SON!

Today was one of the happiest days of my life! I love you very, very much and I feel you in there moving around.

It’s so weird!

Love Mommy

Statistics from Hospitals in England (2002-2003)

Hospitalization statistics for Hyperemesis Gravidarum: The following are statistics from various sources about hospitalizations and Hyperemesis Gravidarum:

0.166% (21,205) of hospital consultant episodes were for excessive vomiting in pregnancy in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

96% of hospital consultant episodes for excessive vomiting in pregnancy required hospital admission in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

100% of hospital consultant episodes for excessive vomiting in pregnancy were for women in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

59% of hospital consultant episodes for excessive vomiting in pregnancy required emergency hospital admission in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

2.5 days was the mean length of stay in hospitals for excessive vomiting in pregnancy in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

2 days was the median length of stay in hospitals for excessive vomiting in pregnancy in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

27 was the mean age of patients hospitalised for excessive vomiting in pregnancy in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

100% of hospital consultant episodes for excessive vomiting in pregnancy occurred in 15-59 year olds in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

0% of hospital consultant episodes for excessive vomiting in pregnancy occurred in people over 75 in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

1% of hospital consultant episodes for excessive vomiting in pregnancy were single day episodes in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

0.097% (50,967) of hospital bed days were for excessive vomiting in pregnancy in England 2002-03 (Hospital Episode Statistics, Department of Health, England, 2002-03)

http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/h/hyperemesis_gravidarum/hospital.htm

Clinical Trials...

Clinical trials are being conducted to study the use of a delayed release drug for the treatment of HG.

http://clinicaltrials.gov/show/NCT00293644

To Participate you must meet certain criteria listed below:

Inclusion Criteria:
Singleton pregnancy of less than 7 weeks gestation.
Women who previously carried a full term pregnancy.
Severe NVP/HG in previous pregnancy by verbal confirmation as determined by questionnaire

Exclusion Criteria:
Women who refuse to participate in the study/sign a written concent
Women with insufficient English language skills to understand the questionnaires and assessment material
Women in her first pregnancy
Women who didn’t suffer severe NVP/HG in previous pregnancy
Gestational age beyond 7w+0d weeks of pregnancy
Multiple gestation
Women who have had previous adverse effects to “Diclectin®”
Women who take another anti-emetic medication
Pregnant women younger than 18 years.

See the link above for more detailed description of the clinical trial.

October 4, 2006

My Dear Grandchild,

Went and spent the day with your Mommy in the hospital. Had to call the paramedics to come get your Mommy yesterday around 5:15pm. When they started to take her to the gurney your Mommy fell back into the recliner and started jerking and was kind of out of it. When she came to they got her to the gurney and took her to the ER.

After being there for a while, the ER doctor told her that she might have to terminate you if she had a clot in her lungs. Your Mommy chose you and was going to take a chance...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

September 26, 2006

Good Morning!

Sorry I haven’t written my love. Mommy has been very sick.

I was back in the hospital for about a week, unable to keep anything down. They inserted a catheter into my arm called a PICC Line, so that they could give me nutrition through IV. I was finally able to come home but I had to have home health care with a nurse. They taught Tutu to change my IV and to take care of my needs while the nurse was not there.

Unfortunately, I developed yet more complications from that! My neck swelled one night I was taken in the morning back to the ER via ambulance. I now have a clotted area in my veins, from my neck to the PICC Line site (which had to be removed). The only nutrition I get now is whatever I can hold in… which isn’t much, but I am trying.

The doctors gave me medications to try to...

September 4, 2006

Hello my sweet Baby…

I am sorry I have not written in many days. Mommy has been very sick!!

Grandma “Tutu” sent me by ambulance to the hospital. I stayed 2 nights it was AWEFUL.

My potassium was very dangerously low because I have been so sick and vomiting. They had to monitor my heart and...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

August 18, 2006

The doctor said that I have “Hyperemesis Gravidarum”, a rare very intense form of morning sickness.

JUST MY LUCK!

Apparently this form of BAD morning sickness happens in less than 1 in 200 pregnancies.

The good news is that I have not had any nausea or vomiting since I got out of the ER, at least not for the last 3 days…

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane
Available September 2007

August 16, 2006

Hi Baby…
I went to the emergency room last night for dehydration and extremely bad morning sickness. Could be that Mommy is just a wimp… but I feel a lot better today.

So far I have kept down 2 ½ crackers and some water. They gave me 2 bags of IV and some medication to help with the nausea. I feel like my throat is injured from all the vomiting and stomach acids, it’s hard to swallow.

Anyhoo…sorry I didn’t write for a few days… but I was sick!
I love you baby.

August 8, 2006

WOW!

Thirteen days of journal entries…*laughing* that has to be a RECORD!
But I want you to have these letters so you know what I am feeling everyday you are a part of my life. I want you to know how much I love you.

There is an “old wives” method of trying to “predict” the sex of an unborn child. It is called dowsing. You use a pendulum, or necklace, or string with a wedding ring tied to the end.

Since I am not a married woman *GASP!* *Laugh* …and I do not have a pendulum, I used Grandpa Angel’s necklace. It is a cross that my mother gave to him when he went to Vietnam (a war you will learn about someday). Anyhoo…

It is a silver cross engraved with “Forever Darling”. I wear it when I travel usually, but since you came into my life, I never take it off. So, what you do is hold the necklace/pendulum/ring over the pregnant woman’s belly to see what it does.

If it swings back and forth it will be a...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane Available September 2007

August 4, 2006

Good Morning Love

Each day that passes I am one day closer to holding you!

Each day that passes my heart hurts less and loves more… and it is all because of YOU!

A tiny little miracle of life growing inside of me. I love you sooo much. You truly are a blessing. I can’t wait until you are in my arms and I can tell you in person how much you mean to me.

Love Mommy

July 30, 2006

Hello My Love!

Today was not that great…

And I need to apologize to you because, I never planned for this.

I always thought that I would be in a loving, committed relationship before became a mother. I am sorry that I can’t give you the happy family I wanted for you. I told your Dad about you, and he just said we can’t be together, but if I need help to let him know…

This is the man who was once so in love with me as to say I was the best thing in my life besides his daughter. I am soooo sorry. I wanted you to know your Daddy, and to be a happy family… But I don’t think that will happen and for that I am heartbroken and truly sorry.

Please know that I love you sooooo much, and I would have done anything to make it happen…

But I have learned in life that...

This is an excerpt from the book I Wrote: Letters to Zane

Available September 2007

July 27, 2006

Ok! So I am a little obsessive compulsive…

I took my first test on July 25, four days before my period was due…Positive but it was very light.

I am taking it early because I have been feeling very strange, I have had a metallic taste in my mouth since I got home from Vermont. I wasn’t sure if it was the water ( I made Scotty check all the filters!) or if I caught some weird disease from the mosquitos!

But… I looked up my symptoms online and one of the things that came up was pregnancy!So today, the 27th, I re-tested and again positive but darker… which I read online to mean that there is MORE pregnancy hormone present, and it doubles every few days.

I am getting sooo excited and just because I am a spaz; I tested again with a different brand. *Laughing*… and again positive!

I will believe it when I miss my period, test again, and see the doctor.I don’t know what the future holds, but I have been blessed!

I don’t know how to tell J, I’m scared.